This guy in Libya turned down a bribe from a drug smuggler worth more than 1300 times his monthly salary. We need more people like this everywhere. It is good to see such actions being commended.
End Post
Writing time: 5 minutes
Time since last post: a day or so
Current media:
Friday, January 30, 2009
Thursday, January 29, 2009
DMZ
Every country has an icon, something quintessential to the country that anyone with a passing familiarity to the country will know about. Australia has kangaroos and the Sydney Opera House. America has the Statue of Liberty and the White House. Italy has the Colosseum, Greece the Parthenon, Japan Mt Fuji. South Korea (and North Korea) have the DMZ. The Demilitarized Zone. The 4 kilometre strip of land that separates North and South Korea that was declared after the stalemate that became the Korean War and intensely guarded ever since.
The weekend before last I went on a tour of the DMZ with the guys from work (we invited the girls but they didn't want to go). The tour met in downtown Seoul early Saturday morning, from where we bussed up to the DMZ which was about 90 minutes away. We then swapped bus to a US Army bus, which took us for a briefing by a very gung-ho and stereotypical soldier on the history of the Joint Security Area, the little area where there are a bunch of buildings nominally there for the purpose of talks, if only the North Koreans would show up. After listening to the briefing and signing a waiver, we took the Army bus into the JSA. Both the North and South have buildings there, and soldiers. We only got to go inside two of the buildings, one of which was the main meeting room. This building is split in the middle by the border, so while inside we were able to technically enter North Korea, although my stay lasted about a minute.
After seeing the main section of the JSA, we were taken on a tour of the places that were involved in the Axe Murder Incident of 1976, which led to Operation Paul Bunyan, the most expensive tree cutting ever (the back up plan to take the tree down if things went really bad was for a battleship on the east coast to bombard the location).
After the JSA we went to Dorasan observatory, a lookout on a mountain near the border. The view wasn't that great, and photos even worse because you weren't allowed to take photos at the edge of the observatory, but had to stand behind some yellow lines about two or three metres back. The fog didn't help either, nor did being kicked out of the auditorium there so some big wig could have a private look at the border.
The final part of the tour was a visit to Infiltration Tunnel 3, one of four known tunnels dug by the North Koreans into the south. Before entering the tunnel, we watched a bizarre film on the DMZ, which started out a bit grim but factual, and then went on a crazy overly optimistic dream about the future of the DMZ. The tunnel itself was low (I had to crouch most of the time, and am glad I got a hardhat), cool and damp. The entrance was pretty steep (about 11 degrees I think) which was OK going down but a good bit of exercise going back up. The tunnel just sort of stops at the end where the South Koreans have put up barricades, and apparently the North Koreans have collapsed the tunnel on their side as well. The tunnel also had a thin layer of coal painted on the sides, as one of the claims the North has made about the tunnel is that it was a coal mine that went a little too far. They said that had it been used, the North expected to get 30,000 men an hour through the tunnel. Presumably the North Koreans aren't as tall as me.
Now for some photos.
Me next to one of the ROK soldiers in the meeting room in the JSA. We were told not to touch them or we'd be "touched" back.
The main building on the North Korean side. There was one soldier visible, but we were told there were more inside the building take our photos.
Where the tree that led up to the Axe Murder Incident used to be.
The badge I had to wear. Unfortunately, we couldn't keep it.
The blue JSA bus
Chris at Dorasan Observatory. The yellow line is where we could take photos from.
Going down the tunnel. The south Koreans have made the entrance part nice and neat, but the later section (the flat bit) is a lot lower and rougher.
Another of the ROK soldiers in the meeting building. He's there in case the North Koreans try and break through the door behind him (I'm not sure why he isn't facing that way then, but that's what they told us. Perhaps he's there to stop us trying to defect to the North (like that would happen)).
More photos are here
End Post
Writing time: 48 minutes
Time since last post: a day or so
Current media: Richard Cheese
The weekend before last I went on a tour of the DMZ with the guys from work (we invited the girls but they didn't want to go). The tour met in downtown Seoul early Saturday morning, from where we bussed up to the DMZ which was about 90 minutes away. We then swapped bus to a US Army bus, which took us for a briefing by a very gung-ho and stereotypical soldier on the history of the Joint Security Area, the little area where there are a bunch of buildings nominally there for the purpose of talks, if only the North Koreans would show up. After listening to the briefing and signing a waiver, we took the Army bus into the JSA. Both the North and South have buildings there, and soldiers. We only got to go inside two of the buildings, one of which was the main meeting room. This building is split in the middle by the border, so while inside we were able to technically enter North Korea, although my stay lasted about a minute.
After seeing the main section of the JSA, we were taken on a tour of the places that were involved in the Axe Murder Incident of 1976, which led to Operation Paul Bunyan, the most expensive tree cutting ever (the back up plan to take the tree down if things went really bad was for a battleship on the east coast to bombard the location).
After the JSA we went to Dorasan observatory, a lookout on a mountain near the border. The view wasn't that great, and photos even worse because you weren't allowed to take photos at the edge of the observatory, but had to stand behind some yellow lines about two or three metres back. The fog didn't help either, nor did being kicked out of the auditorium there so some big wig could have a private look at the border.
The final part of the tour was a visit to Infiltration Tunnel 3, one of four known tunnels dug by the North Koreans into the south. Before entering the tunnel, we watched a bizarre film on the DMZ, which started out a bit grim but factual, and then went on a crazy overly optimistic dream about the future of the DMZ. The tunnel itself was low (I had to crouch most of the time, and am glad I got a hardhat), cool and damp. The entrance was pretty steep (about 11 degrees I think) which was OK going down but a good bit of exercise going back up. The tunnel just sort of stops at the end where the South Koreans have put up barricades, and apparently the North Koreans have collapsed the tunnel on their side as well. The tunnel also had a thin layer of coal painted on the sides, as one of the claims the North has made about the tunnel is that it was a coal mine that went a little too far. They said that had it been used, the North expected to get 30,000 men an hour through the tunnel. Presumably the North Koreans aren't as tall as me.
Now for some photos.
Me next to one of the ROK soldiers in the meeting room in the JSA. We were told not to touch them or we'd be "touched" back.
The main building on the North Korean side. There was one soldier visible, but we were told there were more inside the building take our photos.
Where the tree that led up to the Axe Murder Incident used to be.
The badge I had to wear. Unfortunately, we couldn't keep it.
The blue JSA bus
Chris at Dorasan Observatory. The yellow line is where we could take photos from.
Going down the tunnel. The south Koreans have made the entrance part nice and neat, but the later section (the flat bit) is a lot lower and rougher.
Another of the ROK soldiers in the meeting building. He's there in case the North Koreans try and break through the door behind him (I'm not sure why he isn't facing that way then, but that's what they told us. Perhaps he's there to stop us trying to defect to the North (like that would happen)).
More photos are here
End Post
Writing time: 48 minutes
Time since last post: a day or so
Current media: Richard Cheese
Wednesday, January 28, 2009
Future Plans
Now my time in Korea is coming to a close I'm about to embark on a large trip that will occupy for the next few months. The plan for the trip is roughly as follows, but is flexible depending on when I can get transport and stuff happens.
Thursday next week I'm going to catch an overnight ferry to Vladivostok. I'll spend a few days there and then catch the Trans-Siberian Express to Moscow. A bit of time there, and then a run up to St Petersberg. After Russia, I'm going to head south into the Ukraine, visiting Kiev, maybe Chernobyl (or however close I can get to it), and Sevastopol. From there, I'll go across the Black Sea to Istanbul. Then overland to Athens, where I'm sure I'll find lots to visit and see. I may cross the Med to Egypt from here, we'll have to see how expensive it is. Then on to Italy, Naples, Rome, Venice, Pisa. Then up to Switzerland, maybe via Austria, then west into France to see Paris for more than one day, south to Monaco, then west again to Barcelona, Madrid, and finally Lisbon for a view of the Atlantic ocean. At long last will be a cheap flight to London, where I'll stay until I can just afford a plane ticket home, or I find employment somewhere.
In addition to sightseeing, in the cities I like I think I'll try popping into a few of the local English teaching schools and give them a copy of my resume and just let them know that if they need someone, I'm interested and they can give me an email. It can't hurt to try and if I wind up with a gig in Europe somewhere it would be pretty nice.
So over the next few months expect to hear stories of travels, sights seen, hardships endured, people met, experiences experienced, history felt, hypothermia (Russian winters are very tough according to some guys called Napoleon and Hitler), good weather, bad weather, missed connections, made connections, and photos thereof.
End Post
Writing time:36 minutes
Time since last post: about a day
Current media: The Usual Suspects
Thursday next week I'm going to catch an overnight ferry to Vladivostok. I'll spend a few days there and then catch the Trans-Siberian Express to Moscow. A bit of time there, and then a run up to St Petersberg. After Russia, I'm going to head south into the Ukraine, visiting Kiev, maybe Chernobyl (or however close I can get to it), and Sevastopol. From there, I'll go across the Black Sea to Istanbul. Then overland to Athens, where I'm sure I'll find lots to visit and see. I may cross the Med to Egypt from here, we'll have to see how expensive it is. Then on to Italy, Naples, Rome, Venice, Pisa. Then up to Switzerland, maybe via Austria, then west into France to see Paris for more than one day, south to Monaco, then west again to Barcelona, Madrid, and finally Lisbon for a view of the Atlantic ocean. At long last will be a cheap flight to London, where I'll stay until I can just afford a plane ticket home, or I find employment somewhere.
In addition to sightseeing, in the cities I like I think I'll try popping into a few of the local English teaching schools and give them a copy of my resume and just let them know that if they need someone, I'm interested and they can give me an email. It can't hurt to try and if I wind up with a gig in Europe somewhere it would be pretty nice.
So over the next few months expect to hear stories of travels, sights seen, hardships endured, people met, experiences experienced, history felt, hypothermia (Russian winters are very tough according to some guys called Napoleon and Hitler), good weather, bad weather, missed connections, made connections, and photos thereof.
End Post
Writing time:36 minutes
Time since last post: about a day
Current media: The Usual Suspects
Tuesday, January 27, 2009
The Final Variations on a Theme
Every month, we have to write reports for all the kids we teach. This is generally tedious work in which each report follows a general theme with slight changes in vocabulary and phrasing. Only the exceptionally good or bad get a more personalised version.
This month has been a little more poignant as this is the last time I have to write reports. For the most part, I've followed the same template as previous months, but I did do a bit more for a few students. These were the students who I've taught the longest, thirteen or fourteen months. I'm currently teaching five students who were in my very first classes.
There is also one class I got in my second month which I've had since then. It is a very young class and started out at the lowest level the school teaches. The first day with them I gave them English names (a mix of Buffy actors and people I knew from Japan) and taught them "Hello" and "My name is ...". I'm dreading telling them this week I'm leaving next week. Looking at how much these little kids have learnt while I've been teaching them impresses me. It also makes me feel really slack for how little Korean I've learnt.
So for these kids I've been teaching for most of my time here, my reports this time have had a longer term perspective than my usual reports that focus on just the most recent month.
On the other end of the spectrum was a new student in my middle school class who has been to a total of two classes so far and has a big test covering about three months worth of stuff next class. Their report was short and optimistic, but otherwise lacking in content.
End Post
Writing time: 20 minutes
Time since last post: an hour
Current media: The Usual Suspects
This month has been a little more poignant as this is the last time I have to write reports. For the most part, I've followed the same template as previous months, but I did do a bit more for a few students. These were the students who I've taught the longest, thirteen or fourteen months. I'm currently teaching five students who were in my very first classes.
There is also one class I got in my second month which I've had since then. It is a very young class and started out at the lowest level the school teaches. The first day with them I gave them English names (a mix of Buffy actors and people I knew from Japan) and taught them "Hello" and "My name is ...". I'm dreading telling them this week I'm leaving next week. Looking at how much these little kids have learnt while I've been teaching them impresses me. It also makes me feel really slack for how little Korean I've learnt.
So for these kids I've been teaching for most of my time here, my reports this time have had a longer term perspective than my usual reports that focus on just the most recent month.
On the other end of the spectrum was a new student in my middle school class who has been to a total of two classes so far and has a big test covering about three months worth of stuff next class. Their report was short and optimistic, but otherwise lacking in content.
End Post
Writing time: 20 minutes
Time since last post: an hour
Current media: The Usual Suspects
Prolonged Quietude
So it's been quite a while since I've put anything on my blog. Just over a month in fact, which is the longest time between posts since I started the thing. This is I think a combination of a lot of mundane stuff happening and the big things going through my head have been too big and personal. But most of those have settled down, and the near future is definitely going to be blogworthy, so it's well time I got back in the habit of writing.
I'm going to put some stuff up over the next few days (yay for automated posting), covering stuff in some sort of order (mainly how close to the top of my mind things are).
End Post
Writing time: 15 minutes
Time since last post: 1 month 3 days
Current media: The Usual Suspects
I'm going to put some stuff up over the next few days (yay for automated posting), covering stuff in some sort of order (mainly how close to the top of my mind things are).
End Post
Writing time: 15 minutes
Time since last post: 1 month 3 days
Current media: The Usual Suspects
Wednesday, December 24, 2008
It's Puntastic
I don't think I need o explain why I like this link. It should be pretty self-explanatory.
End Post
Writing time: 1 minute
Time since last post: a few days
Current media: None
End Post
Writing time: 1 minute
Time since last post: a few days
Current media: None
Saturday, December 20, 2008
Limited Free Speech Doesn't Work
The General Assembly of the United Nations has once again passed a non binding resolution condemning religious discrimination while idly saying that freedom of speech may be subject to limitations. This is the fourth year in a row the General Assembly has passed such a resolution, this year with a reduced vote (actually it only got a plurality, not a majority this time around).
This resolution is mainly backed by Islamic states and opposed by western states. Not a surprising division on the issue. The Islamic states backing the resolution say they don't want to limit free speech, they just want to stop things like the Dutch Mohammed cartoons from a few years ago.
The cognitive dissonance in such a statement is amazing. They don't want to limit speech, they just want to limit speech that upsets them. It's almost as if they don't get the idea that freedom of speech includes speech that upsets them.
Freedoms like speech are one of the things I tend to get absolutist about. Individual liberties are the foundation on which the rest of society is built. If you undermine those, you undermine society.
End Post
Writing time: a while
Time since last post: too long
Current media: None
This resolution is mainly backed by Islamic states and opposed by western states. Not a surprising division on the issue. The Islamic states backing the resolution say they don't want to limit free speech, they just want to stop things like the Dutch Mohammed cartoons from a few years ago.
The cognitive dissonance in such a statement is amazing. They don't want to limit speech, they just want to limit speech that upsets them. It's almost as if they don't get the idea that freedom of speech includes speech that upsets them.
Freedoms like speech are one of the things I tend to get absolutist about. Individual liberties are the foundation on which the rest of society is built. If you undermine those, you undermine society.
End Post
Writing time: a while
Time since last post: too long
Current media: None
Dignity is Optional
Some interesting pics from the Korean National Assembly. The ruling party, expecting the opposition to not be in favour of the free trade agreement with the US decided that the best way to deal with such opposition would be to lock them out of the building. Said opposition then decided the best way to make the governing party listen to them would be to smash down the doors. And the governments rebuttal of this was to spray the fire extinguishers in the oppositions face.
This does little to promote the dignity of the democratic process, and in no way enhances the respect politicians get. Both sides acted appallingly, and this sort of thing should not be accepted in any country.
End Post
Writing time: a few minutes
Time since last post: a few hours
Current media: jPod
This does little to promote the dignity of the democratic process, and in no way enhances the respect politicians get. Both sides acted appallingly, and this sort of thing should not be accepted in any country.
End Post
Writing time: a few minutes
Time since last post: a few hours
Current media: jPod
Friday, December 19, 2008
Creepy
A rather unusual case has turned up in Britain. A baby was born with a foot inside his brain. Apparently it was kind of a twin, which started growing inside of him, but all that managed to grow was a foot. Fortunately it has been removed and the kid is doing well.
End Post
Writing time: 1 minute
Time since last post: too long (I've had stuff that I've been thinking about, but haven't yet wanted to put up here for various reasons that should be coming soon)
Current media: none
End Post
Writing time: 1 minute
Time since last post: too long (I've had stuff that I've been thinking about, but haven't yet wanted to put up here for various reasons that should be coming soon)
Current media: none
Saturday, December 13, 2008
The Financial Crisis Explained
Well, more properly, the sub-prime mortgage crisis explained.
End Post
Writing time: 30 seconds
Time since last post: a while
Current media: None
End Post
Writing time: 30 seconds
Time since last post: a while
Current media: None
Sunday, December 07, 2008
Quiz Time
I found a neat quiz today. Troy McClure Film or Actual Terrible Movie?
I'm happy with my score of 13 out of 15.
End Post
Writing time: 1 minute
Time since last post: a while ago
Current media: House season 1
I'm happy with my score of 13 out of 15.
End Post
Writing time: 1 minute
Time since last post: a while ago
Current media: House season 1
Friday, December 05, 2008
Inferno, Canto XXXIV, tercet 139
Last Saturday night I was out rather late (or more accurately, very early on Sunday), and I saw something that I have not seen very much of in Korea.
After the taxi ride back from downtown, I was walking down the street looking up at the sky and thought to myself "ah, there's Orion". It took me a few moments to realize the significance of this thought.
For the first time during my stay in Korea, the sky, while not full, contained many stars. I believe I may have even identified Polaris, a star that has not been visible to me during the greater number of my days.
Apparently it was a combination of the late hour and the cold evening that let me see that which is normally invisible here.
It really is quite depressing looking up at the night sky and seeing just black with only the moon to break things up. It makes the universe seem such a hollow and empty thing, lacking the glory and wonder I know it has.
I have occasionally thought what would science have been like if the night sky had always been like this. Geocentrism would have been a lot stronger, although it would have fallen eventually. Telescopes would still exist, but would anyone bother pointing them upwards. Astronomy would have been stunted at birth, although its evil twin astrology would have been still born. I think science on such a world would still get to where we are, but it would be a slower process and lack some of the wonder we get to experience.
That's all.
For those wondering about the title of this post, the line referenced reads "and we came out to see once more the stars."
End Post
Writing time: 39 minutes (although I was distracted by Wikipedia partway through)
Time since last post: I guess two or three days.
Current media: None (soon to be rectfied).
After the taxi ride back from downtown, I was walking down the street looking up at the sky and thought to myself "ah, there's Orion". It took me a few moments to realize the significance of this thought.
For the first time during my stay in Korea, the sky, while not full, contained many stars. I believe I may have even identified Polaris, a star that has not been visible to me during the greater number of my days.
Apparently it was a combination of the late hour and the cold evening that let me see that which is normally invisible here.
It really is quite depressing looking up at the night sky and seeing just black with only the moon to break things up. It makes the universe seem such a hollow and empty thing, lacking the glory and wonder I know it has.
I have occasionally thought what would science have been like if the night sky had always been like this. Geocentrism would have been a lot stronger, although it would have fallen eventually. Telescopes would still exist, but would anyone bother pointing them upwards. Astronomy would have been stunted at birth, although its evil twin astrology would have been still born. I think science on such a world would still get to where we are, but it would be a slower process and lack some of the wonder we get to experience.
That's all.
For those wondering about the title of this post, the line referenced reads "and we came out to see once more the stars."
End Post
Writing time: 39 minutes (although I was distracted by Wikipedia partway through)
Time since last post: I guess two or three days.
Current media: None (soon to be rectfied).
Wednesday, December 03, 2008
Sad But True
Metallica used to be cool. Now they're doing shit like this.
End Post
Writing time: 1 minute
Time since last post: a few days
Current media: The Daily Show
End Post
Writing time: 1 minute
Time since last post: a few days
Current media: The Daily Show
Tuesday, December 02, 2008
Lucky Bastard
This guy is one lucky bastard. Getting paid to build lego models all day. Why isn't that my job?
End Post
Writing time: 2 minutes (this isn't a very long post)
Time since last post: a day?
Current media: Stargate Continuum
End Post
Writing time: 2 minutes (this isn't a very long post)
Time since last post: a day?
Current media: Stargate Continuum
Sunday, November 30, 2008
This Kids Going Places
This note was found in a hallway in a school somewhere. This kid has potential, if the authorities don't freak out when they find out who he actually is.
End Post
Writing time: 2 minutes
Time since last post: one day
Current media: None (iTunes is updating)
End Post
Writing time: 2 minutes
Time since last post: one day
Current media: None (iTunes is updating)
Saturday, November 29, 2008
An Eye For An Eye Leaves Everyone Blind - Literally
It looks like Iran has reached a new high point in setting the standard for justice. The case in question involved a man who had blinded a woman with acid after she turned down his marriage proposal. Not a very nice act, and certainly something that needs to be dealt with by the justice system.
The punishment in this case though is a bit rough. Under the code of qias, or retribution, that is part of Islamic law in Iran, this man is to be blinded by acid himself, in part at the request of woman he attacked.
This is not justice, this is vengeance, and vengeance is only cool in stories. We've moved past it in the real world. Justice is about righting the wrong, and preventing other wrongs, not committing more wrongs.
End Post
Writing time: I lost track but I did lots of other things while writing this up
Time since last post: A fair while
Current media: Stargate Atlantis
The punishment in this case though is a bit rough. Under the code of qias, or retribution, that is part of Islamic law in Iran, this man is to be blinded by acid himself, in part at the request of woman he attacked.
This is not justice, this is vengeance, and vengeance is only cool in stories. We've moved past it in the real world. Justice is about righting the wrong, and preventing other wrongs, not committing more wrongs.
End Post
Writing time: I lost track but I did lots of other things while writing this up
Time since last post: A fair while
Current media: Stargate Atlantis
Tuesday, November 18, 2008
In Ayr
I'm currently sitting around at Mum's place killing time. I renewed my drivers license today, wihtout having to do a test or go through the whole learners bit again, which is a good thing. I'll see if I can get an international one in the few day's I have left in Australia.
Tomorrow we're driving up to Innisfail where my Grandmother lives. Thursday will be the reason for coming back, and it looks like on Friday I'll be meeting wiht my father's family for the first time since the early nineties. That will be tricky. I think that for somethings, if they don't get changed after a while it becomes impossible to change. I know I definitely tend to stick with what has inertia, although when I do change, it does tend to be by big, sudden shifts.
Friday is also my sister's birthday, so for the second year running I'll be around for that.
Saturday I will fly back to Brisbane in the early evening. I'm not sure if anything will happen Saturday night (suggestions are welcome). Then on Sunday I fly back to Korea so that I'm back before my visa expires. And on Monday I'll probably have to go into work early to finalise my visa extension.
Tomorrow we're driving up to Innisfail where my Grandmother lives. Thursday will be the reason for coming back, and it looks like on Friday I'll be meeting wiht my father's family for the first time since the early nineties. That will be tricky. I think that for somethings, if they don't get changed after a while it becomes impossible to change. I know I definitely tend to stick with what has inertia, although when I do change, it does tend to be by big, sudden shifts.
Friday is also my sister's birthday, so for the second year running I'll be around for that.
Saturday I will fly back to Brisbane in the early evening. I'm not sure if anything will happen Saturday night (suggestions are welcome). Then on Sunday I fly back to Korea so that I'm back before my visa expires. And on Monday I'll probably have to go into work early to finalise my visa extension.
Monday, November 10, 2008
javascript:flink On The Range
Two convoys of Black SUVs arrived at the old rifle range about thirty minutes north of Langley. It had been a training facility back in World War II, and had been government property ever since, but had been bounced between departments without anyone finding any great use for it, and so it had become overgrown for many years. Now the CIA had claimed it for themselves and had restored it to its former glory as a rifle range, albeit one with large patches of burnt grass and trees all over the place.
The President and Vice-President got out of their respective SUVs and walked over to a group of men from the CIA.
"Mr President, Mr Vice-President, welcome to Tasty Fowl range," Bill Torum said. "I'm Bill Torum, agent in charge of this project. Let me introduce my team to you. This is Chris Rudd, Dave Donaldson, John Nakamura, our shooter, and Tony Sparrow," Bill said as he pointed to each man in turn.
"Good morning gentlemen," the President said to them. "What have you got to show me this morning?"
"If you'll come this way, Sir, we'll give you our demonstration," Bill said.
The group walked over towards the shelter at the end of the range. They stood behind a firing stall and Agent Nakamura stood in front of the group.
"Are you ready for this, Mr President?" Agent Nakamura asked.
"Ready when you are," the President replied.
Agent Nakamura turned to face downrange. "Itadekimasu" he shouted and a ball of fire about the size of a basketball appeared in front of him and moved down the range rapidly.
"The directon of the fire can be controlled with a pointing gesture, as can the fireballs speed," Bill explained, as Agent Nakamura demonstrated with a series of fireballs aimed at targets spread across the range. "The louder you say the word the larger the fireball. They can be as small as a baseball or up to about two feet across," Bill continued.
"How hard is it to do?" the President asked.
"The only tricky part is getting the pronunciation just right. If you're a little off it won't work," Bill answered. "Would you like to give it a try?"
"Is it safe?" the President asked, a little nervous at the prospect of doing this himself.
"The fireball always heads away from you in the direction you point, so the thrower is always safe," Agent Nakamura explained. "Just come up here and face down range."
The President did as he was instructed and aked "Now what?"
"Just point and say the word. Like this," he said, then pointed and called out "Itadekimasu".
"All right then," the President said, and steeled himself for what he was about to do.
"Eat-a-duck-I-must" he shouted and pointed emphatically down the range. Nothing happened.
"You need to say it a little bit quicker, Mr President, the middle section sounds more like 'deck-ee', not 'duck-eye', and there's no 't' at the end," Nakamura told the unsuccessful President. "It usually takes a few tries to get the pronunciation right," he reassured the statesman.
"Eat-a-deck-ee-mast" the President shouted, again with no effect.
"Try it one more time, like this 'ee-ta-dek-ki-mas'," Nakamura said, enunciating the magic word syllable by syllable.
"Itadekimasu" the President yelled, and a large fireball flew down the range.
"Jumping Jesus on a pogo-stick," the President exclaimed. "I did it," he continued disbelievingly. He was silent for a few moments while it sank in. "What do you guys need to keep working on this?"
"We need more agents to investigate reports of other supernatural activities. We need scientists and engineers to work out why magic is working now, when it hasn't for the last six thousand years, and how it works. We need facilities to work in, we need to be able to travel to where things happen and we need all of this quickly," Bill Torum replied in a smooth manner that only comes from lots of preparation.
"You've got it," the President told him.
"There's one other thing, Sir. We're going to have to go public with this pretty soon," Bill told him.
"Why on Earth would we do that?" The Vice-President asked incredulously. "If we do it will open up a gigantic can of worms. Not to mention it could start a new cold war, with magic instead of missiles."
"For a start, how else are we going to convice the Japanese to stop saying this word. It's their tradition. Second, other countries will probably have done exactly what we've done. You would know better than I if there have been any similar incidents at our foreign counterparts. And finally, the public will work this out soon enough anyway, and if we've been hiding, it will look like we're behind the curve. If we come out soon and announce it, we'll be ahead of the curve instead," Bill explained.
"That will get decided by people above your paygrade Bill, but we will definitely take those arguments under advisement," The President said. "Are we done here?"
"That was all we wanted to demonstrate today, Sir," Bill told him.
"Right then. Thank you gentleman, it's been a very interesting morning," the President said. He turned to his principal Secret Service Officer "Let's get back to Washington."
The President and Vice-President got out of their respective SUVs and walked over to a group of men from the CIA.
"Mr President, Mr Vice-President, welcome to Tasty Fowl range," Bill Torum said. "I'm Bill Torum, agent in charge of this project. Let me introduce my team to you. This is Chris Rudd, Dave Donaldson, John Nakamura, our shooter, and Tony Sparrow," Bill said as he pointed to each man in turn.
"Good morning gentlemen," the President said to them. "What have you got to show me this morning?"
"If you'll come this way, Sir, we'll give you our demonstration," Bill said.
The group walked over towards the shelter at the end of the range. They stood behind a firing stall and Agent Nakamura stood in front of the group.
"Are you ready for this, Mr President?" Agent Nakamura asked.
"Ready when you are," the President replied.
Agent Nakamura turned to face downrange. "Itadekimasu" he shouted and a ball of fire about the size of a basketball appeared in front of him and moved down the range rapidly.
"The directon of the fire can be controlled with a pointing gesture, as can the fireballs speed," Bill explained, as Agent Nakamura demonstrated with a series of fireballs aimed at targets spread across the range. "The louder you say the word the larger the fireball. They can be as small as a baseball or up to about two feet across," Bill continued.
"How hard is it to do?" the President asked.
"The only tricky part is getting the pronunciation just right. If you're a little off it won't work," Bill answered. "Would you like to give it a try?"
"Is it safe?" the President asked, a little nervous at the prospect of doing this himself.
"The fireball always heads away from you in the direction you point, so the thrower is always safe," Agent Nakamura explained. "Just come up here and face down range."
The President did as he was instructed and aked "Now what?"
"Just point and say the word. Like this," he said, then pointed and called out "Itadekimasu".
"All right then," the President said, and steeled himself for what he was about to do.
"Eat-a-duck-I-must" he shouted and pointed emphatically down the range. Nothing happened.
"You need to say it a little bit quicker, Mr President, the middle section sounds more like 'deck-ee', not 'duck-eye', and there's no 't' at the end," Nakamura told the unsuccessful President. "It usually takes a few tries to get the pronunciation right," he reassured the statesman.
"Eat-a-deck-ee-mast" the President shouted, again with no effect.
"Try it one more time, like this 'ee-ta-dek-ki-mas'," Nakamura said, enunciating the magic word syllable by syllable.
"Itadekimasu" the President yelled, and a large fireball flew down the range.
"Jumping Jesus on a pogo-stick," the President exclaimed. "I did it," he continued disbelievingly. He was silent for a few moments while it sank in. "What do you guys need to keep working on this?"
"We need more agents to investigate reports of other supernatural activities. We need scientists and engineers to work out why magic is working now, when it hasn't for the last six thousand years, and how it works. We need facilities to work in, we need to be able to travel to where things happen and we need all of this quickly," Bill Torum replied in a smooth manner that only comes from lots of preparation.
"You've got it," the President told him.
"There's one other thing, Sir. We're going to have to go public with this pretty soon," Bill told him.
"Why on Earth would we do that?" The Vice-President asked incredulously. "If we do it will open up a gigantic can of worms. Not to mention it could start a new cold war, with magic instead of missiles."
"For a start, how else are we going to convice the Japanese to stop saying this word. It's their tradition. Second, other countries will probably have done exactly what we've done. You would know better than I if there have been any similar incidents at our foreign counterparts. And finally, the public will work this out soon enough anyway, and if we've been hiding, it will look like we're behind the curve. If we come out soon and announce it, we'll be ahead of the curve instead," Bill explained.
"That will get decided by people above your paygrade Bill, but we will definitely take those arguments under advisement," The President said. "Are we done here?"
"That was all we wanted to demonstrate today, Sir," Bill told him.
"Right then. Thank you gentleman, it's been a very interesting morning," the President said. He turned to his principal Secret Service Officer "Let's get back to Washington."
javascript:flink POTUS
The President of the United States of America was sitting on a sofa watching TV when the door opened and the Vice-President walked in.
"Have you read this thing?" the President asked, waving a briefing at the Vice-President.
"I've read it, but I think someone at Langley's has had a few screws loosened," the Vice-President replied. "To think saying 'ita-'"
"Don't say the damn word here," the President interrupted. "How do you think it would look if we blew up the White House?"
"So you believe it then?" The Vice-President queried.
"I was skeptical at first, but the video they showed was worrying," The President answered. "I'm going to their test site tomorrow morning to see for myself. Do you want to come along?"
"The President of the United States of America throwing fireballs around like Gandalf the Grey. Who wouldn't want to see that?" the Vice-President replied.
"Alright then. Tell the Secret Service guys when you head out. They'll sort out the details. Anything else?"
"No, just the crazy magic stuff. I'll see you tomorrow morning."
"Tomorrow morning then. Have a good night."
"You too," the Vice-President said and left the President to his TV shows.
"Have you read this thing?" the President asked, waving a briefing at the Vice-President.
"I've read it, but I think someone at Langley's has had a few screws loosened," the Vice-President replied. "To think saying 'ita-'"
"Don't say the damn word here," the President interrupted. "How do you think it would look if we blew up the White House?"
"So you believe it then?" The Vice-President queried.
"I was skeptical at first, but the video they showed was worrying," The President answered. "I'm going to their test site tomorrow morning to see for myself. Do you want to come along?"
"The President of the United States of America throwing fireballs around like Gandalf the Grey. Who wouldn't want to see that?" the Vice-President replied.
"Alright then. Tell the Secret Service guys when you head out. They'll sort out the details. Anything else?"
"No, just the crazy magic stuff. I'll see you tomorrow morning."
"Tomorrow morning then. Have a good night."
"You too," the Vice-President said and left the President to his TV shows.
javascript:flink Top Secret
Top Secret
Eyes Only
From: Alan Smithee, Deputy Director Office of International Incidents, Central Intelligence Agency
To: POTUS, VPOTUS, SecDef, NSA, DirCIA, JCoS
RE: Japan and Tasty Fowl
1) Introductory Remarks
As discussed in previous briefings from this office, Japan has been subject to what appears to be a massive bombing campaign. No one has claimed responsibility for these attacks. We have a new theory to explain these events.
2) Prior Intelligence
Pooling the data collected by sources from the CIA, NSA, Echelon, DIA, FBI, and their international counterparts from Japan, the United Kingdom, Australia, Saudi Arabia and other nations has revealed absolutely zero intelligence suggesting any attack on Japan prior to the incident.
3) Investigation
Japanese law enforcement, with assistance from several US agencies has been performing forensic investigations of the sites of many explosions. So far not a single explosive device has been found.
(Warning: Do not read the following sections aloud. This is quite important)
(Really, don't do it)
4) Survivor claims
A number of people who have survived the explosions have made a similar remarkable claim. They claim that fireballs appear out of thin air when they said "itadekimasu", a phrase traditionally said in Japan before eating a meal in Japan.
5) An Unlikely Lead
This claim is on the face of it quite unbelievable, but is sufficiently common that some analysts felt that it should be tested. Initial attempts to reproduce the phenomena were unsuccessful until the analysts recruited an agent fluent in Japanese. This agent can reliably create and direct fireballs by saying the phrase
6) Other Incidents
Police records show that since the explosions in Japan, a number of Japanese restaurants in other countries have also suffered from fires and explosions. 15 cases have been reported in the United States.
7) Strategic Implications
The impact of this capability on National security is currently hard to judge. It can provide both advantages and disadvantages. It will act as a superb concealable weapon for our agents, but will also do so for hostile entities. It will also open up a new range of possibilities for the construction of IEDs.
8) Other Capabilities
Having accepted a possibility that is seemingly impossible, it may be the case that other impossible feats are no longer impossible. Less reputable news agencies such as the Daily Enquirer have been reporting a higher rate of unusual incidents that more reputable news agencies typically dismiss out of hand. Incidents include individuals flying, transmutation of objects, premonitions, telekinesis, and more. These incidents bear further investigation.
9) Recommendations
It is vital that we learn the exact capabilities and limitations of the phrase "itadekimasu", and if other such capabilities exist. We have tentatively given the project the code name Tasty Fowl, and recommend that it be expanded significantly immediately. We must systematically test the limits of "itadekimasu" and develop the ability to use and defend against it.
Eyes Only
From: Alan Smithee, Deputy Director Office of International Incidents, Central Intelligence Agency
To: POTUS, VPOTUS, SecDef, NSA, DirCIA, JCoS
RE: Japan and Tasty Fowl
1) Introductory Remarks
As discussed in previous briefings from this office, Japan has been subject to what appears to be a massive bombing campaign. No one has claimed responsibility for these attacks. We have a new theory to explain these events.
2) Prior Intelligence
Pooling the data collected by sources from the CIA, NSA, Echelon, DIA, FBI, and their international counterparts from Japan, the United Kingdom, Australia, Saudi Arabia and other nations has revealed absolutely zero intelligence suggesting any attack on Japan prior to the incident.
3) Investigation
Japanese law enforcement, with assistance from several US agencies has been performing forensic investigations of the sites of many explosions. So far not a single explosive device has been found.
(Warning: Do not read the following sections aloud. This is quite important)
(Really, don't do it)
4) Survivor claims
A number of people who have survived the explosions have made a similar remarkable claim. They claim that fireballs appear out of thin air when they said "itadekimasu", a phrase traditionally said in Japan before eating a meal in Japan.
5) An Unlikely Lead
This claim is on the face of it quite unbelievable, but is sufficiently common that some analysts felt that it should be tested. Initial attempts to reproduce the phenomena were unsuccessful until the analysts recruited an agent fluent in Japanese. This agent can reliably create and direct fireballs by saying the phrase
6) Other Incidents
Police records show that since the explosions in Japan, a number of Japanese restaurants in other countries have also suffered from fires and explosions. 15 cases have been reported in the United States.
7) Strategic Implications
The impact of this capability on National security is currently hard to judge. It can provide both advantages and disadvantages. It will act as a superb concealable weapon for our agents, but will also do so for hostile entities. It will also open up a new range of possibilities for the construction of IEDs.
8) Other Capabilities
Having accepted a possibility that is seemingly impossible, it may be the case that other impossible feats are no longer impossible. Less reputable news agencies such as the Daily Enquirer have been reporting a higher rate of unusual incidents that more reputable news agencies typically dismiss out of hand. Incidents include individuals flying, transmutation of objects, premonitions, telekinesis, and more. These incidents bear further investigation.
9) Recommendations
It is vital that we learn the exact capabilities and limitations of the phrase "itadekimasu", and if other such capabilities exist. We have tentatively given the project the code name Tasty Fowl, and recommend that it be expanded significantly immediately. We must systematically test the limits of "itadekimasu" and develop the ability to use and defend against it.
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