There is no god. The universe is a material thing. There is no supernatural. There is no higher being. Mankind is not special.
The universe has a set of rules. We do not yet know all of these rules, but we are working towards that goal.
A human being is a material being. It is made up of material components, and is a part of the universe. There is no supernatural component in a human being.
I wish to be quite clear. The universe has a set of rules. We may not know those rules, but there are rules. And every person, with no exception, is subject to those rules.
The rules are well understood. Humanity has expended much effort into understanding the universe, and has a long way to go still. The rules we have discovered, within their realms are incredibly accurate and precise.
But these rules are not the full story. We understand how to work with one particle. That is easy. We understand how to deal with two particles. This we can do exactly in almost every circumstance. Three particles is a different story. There we have to make approximations. We have to do mathematical tricks. We have to divide time into discrete chunks. We have to make approximations.
Everything we experience is a collection of billions upon billions of atoms. For some things, new approximations come into play, and again we can be exact. The motion of an object in the gravitational field of the earth can be described simply and elegantly by a mathematical equation. The behaviour of gases and other materials can be described by the rules of thermodynamics.
These rules are not derived from the behaviour of individual particles (although I would like to think that some general principles could be derived, and indeed may have already been derived from quantum theory), but are what are called emergent phenomena. One could study quantum mechanics for many lifetimes, but would not necessarily predict the phenomena of superconductivity. This is because superconductivity is a property of a collection of particles. No single particle by itself can superconduct. It is the collection of particles, interacting with each other, which creates this new, unpredictable phenomena.
And so it is with humanity. The human mind is a collection of particles, amazingly organised, which together exceeds the sum of its parts. The rules of the universe set the ways in which two particles interact, and these interactions are incredibly limited. There are merely four ways in which particles affect one another. But the rules describe the interactions between just two entities. And so, when a collection of particles interact and affect each other, the outcomes can be something which someone who studied the rules for millennia would never consider.
Emergent behaviour is something with which we are familiar. John Conway's Game of Life is a set of simple rules that apply to a two dimensional grid. Looking at just the rules, you could not predict the existence of patterns which not just sustain themselves, but produce other entities which endure in the universe of the Game. But such patterns exist.
And so it is with out universe. There is a set of rules by which all particles abide. But the behaviour of a collection of particles may follow those rules in ways no one could predict or expect.
And so it is. Without any intention of anthropomorphising, matter has found a way of organising itself which no longer believes itself bound by the rules of the universe. Human beings, and other creatures to a varying extent, are not just chunks of matter, but matter organised in such a way as to be self aware. To be able to think.
This is an awe inspiring thing. To consider that a set of rules that rigidly define the interactions of any two given particles, when applied to billions upon billions of particles acting upon each other gives rise to such amazing complexity and originality is mind boggling.
This is not something to be treated lightly. The ability to think, the awareness of one's self, the ability to weigh the consequences of ones actions and change them accordingly is a rare gift. It is something to be treasured.
The entire human condition is something of a contradiction. We are a material being, made up of material components which follow rigidly defined laws. But, the collective of matter displays properties which would never be predicted just by looking at the laws of nature. The Schroedinger equation, while being the fundamental underpinning of all the universe, does not answer all the questions.
But just because we are a collection of material parts, does not mean that humanity is not important. Actually, it does not mean that sentience, awareness is unimportant. The ability to think, to reason, to plan, to consider ones situation, to reflect on the past and hope for the future is a treasure.
It is not something to be thrown away lightly. Every human has these abilities to varying degrees, and different animals also have these capacities, although at the moment to a lesser degree than humans.
Intelligent life is precious. It is precious because it is able to recognise what it is, and to value itself. A rock can not do this. A plank of wood can not do this. At this time, a computer can not do this. But a human being can.
This capacity for thought, this behaviour which while following the rules of the universe, is not explicitly defined by the rules, is what is exceptional, is the thing which is to be treasured.
Life is precious. The idea that a collection of matter is able to arrange itself so as to be aware of itself, to think, to reason is extraordinary. It is to be revered. And so too is the universe which allowed such complexity to exist.
The universe is an amazing place. It is so full of wonder, of possibilities that the human mind reels away when considering the full grandness of it. When compared to the idea of a complex universe such as the one we live in, the idea of a supreme being tinkering with dials to make sure the universe is just right for humans seems small minded and self centred.
I will say this: Human beings are special. But so to is any creature who is aware of itself, who can reason and think, as would be shown by its actions. It is through this emergent behaviour, this going beyond the simple rules and finding new patterns of existence that can endure and spread that we rise above the simple rules that govern matter and become worthy of recognition.
Simply to be aware of oneself is a wondrous thing. Nowhere in the rules of the universe is such a thing described, but still it exists. It is a marvel of the universe that it can produce such things.
But, it is not a contradiction of the rules of the universe. The interactions of the particles in my mind, in any mind, follow the rules of the universe. By working together they can behave in complex, unpredictable ways, but each individual particle follows the rules of the universe.
I feel this has been somewhat of a rambling post, but let me summarise. The universe is purely material. The material universe follows a set of rules, which we do not as yet fully understand, but they do exist and we are trying to improve our knowledge of them of. The human mind is a collection of material components which exhibit behaviour that while not described in the rules, does not contradict the rules. Such entities which display such behaviour are rare, and deserve to be treated as special and important, despite the fact that they are merely a collection of matter.
End Post
Writing time: 1 hour 21 minutes (I'm not at my most coherent right now)
Time since last post: two hours ish
Current media: Pleasantville
Showing posts with label Rambling. Show all posts
Showing posts with label Rambling. Show all posts
Sunday, February 03, 2008
Monday, October 22, 2007
Recent Events
Lately, life has not been so good. Or more specifically, work has not been so good. Even more specifically, the pay has been not so good. Well, not not so good, but absent, non-existent, late, yet to be paid, etc, etc.
The company is going down the tubes. Last month the teachers pay was 4 days late for most teachers. The Japanese staff are still waiting for their pay from last month. I don't really believe the promise that we'll be paid on the 25th, because that promise came after they failed to pay us on the 19th as they promised.
The actual work is not so bad. Most days have been pretty light of late. This is because the staff have been anticipating teachers not turning up and not filling the schedule, so when everyone does turn up, we all get free lessons.
Yesterday was a different story. There were meant to be five teachers working, but only two turned up. Guess who was one of those two. Yup. Me. My schedule for the day was almost completely full. The maximum size of a class is four students. My first class had three students, my last class was a man to man class where the student pays extra to be the only student, and the rest were four student classes. A few students didn't turn up, so that made it a little easier but it was a daunting schedule to look at. The staff have said they'll try and give me an easy schedule today if it's possible, so that's something to look forward to.
The Japanese staff are having a really rough time. Branches are closing all the time, teachers are not coming in and quitting at massive rates, and students are trying to get as many lessons as they can before it all comes crashing down. Combined with no real leadership from above, it seems that the branch level staff are all working together to try and keep things going. On Friday I ended up going to three different schools, as other schools were so desperate for teachers that they were willing to have someone come out to teach just one lesson, then travel to the next school for one lesson, then back to my regular branch for the rest of the day. I have to say they're doing a good job, but eventually they're going to run out of options.
Another issue is the rate at which branches are being closed. At first it was just some kids schools and small schools, but now more and more schools are closing, and it's more and more obvious that there is no planning going on. Last month some schools closed and the students were offered a transfer to another school. Then early this month they announced that school would close at the end of the month. So now the students have to transfer again, or more likely are going to quit. My school has yet to close, and word is the owner of the building is out of the country so doesn't know what's going on. We've been getting lots of transfer students, and hopefully we'll be getting some teachers from the schools that are closing, but there's no information so far. Apparently there's meant to be training for new teachers at my school today, but the head teacher hasn't got any information about the new guys, so it's pretty likely there not coming. I know I wouldn't come over now if I knew what was going on.
My reaction to all of this was at the beginning denial, but in the last month has gone to a fatalistic panic. After last months late pay, I initially thought they wouldn't be late twice, because they knew it would piss of the teachers, and with no teachers there's no business. But late the pay is, and now I'm looking for other work. I had an interview in Tokyo last week which was good and bad. Good in that they were willing to let me start training straight away, bad in that the training is unpaid, the pay is purely on a commission basis, and although the work is investment based, you have to get your own clients whose money you invest. This is not the sort of thing I can uproot and move to Tokyo for. I've also had a phone interview for teaching in China, but the pay is again good and bad. It's about what a manager in China receives, so you can live like a king over there, but it works out to about $1000 a month, so you can't really save any money. Tomorrow I have a phone interview for a job in South Korea, which is a lot better. I'd also much rather live in Korea than in China. No Great Firewall to start with, and the pay is a lot better (actually a bit better than what I get in Japan. It's about the same amount of money, but they also pay your rent and half your health insurance, plus pay for a return airfare, so that would be pretty good). We'll see how that goes.
This has also had a detrimental effect on my limited social life. The usual Monday night outing has been postponed indefinitely, pending getting some money. My diet is also suffering. For most of the last three weeks, dinner has been instant ramen. Breakfast is a pastry and some juice, or if I'm feeling luxurious, MacDonalds. The activities I've taken to fill the gap are online poker and watching the entirety of the original series of Star Trek.
End Post
Writing time: 41 minutes
Time since last post: 12 days
Current media: Newstopia
The company is going down the tubes. Last month the teachers pay was 4 days late for most teachers. The Japanese staff are still waiting for their pay from last month. I don't really believe the promise that we'll be paid on the 25th, because that promise came after they failed to pay us on the 19th as they promised.
The actual work is not so bad. Most days have been pretty light of late. This is because the staff have been anticipating teachers not turning up and not filling the schedule, so when everyone does turn up, we all get free lessons.
Yesterday was a different story. There were meant to be five teachers working, but only two turned up. Guess who was one of those two. Yup. Me. My schedule for the day was almost completely full. The maximum size of a class is four students. My first class had three students, my last class was a man to man class where the student pays extra to be the only student, and the rest were four student classes. A few students didn't turn up, so that made it a little easier but it was a daunting schedule to look at. The staff have said they'll try and give me an easy schedule today if it's possible, so that's something to look forward to.
The Japanese staff are having a really rough time. Branches are closing all the time, teachers are not coming in and quitting at massive rates, and students are trying to get as many lessons as they can before it all comes crashing down. Combined with no real leadership from above, it seems that the branch level staff are all working together to try and keep things going. On Friday I ended up going to three different schools, as other schools were so desperate for teachers that they were willing to have someone come out to teach just one lesson, then travel to the next school for one lesson, then back to my regular branch for the rest of the day. I have to say they're doing a good job, but eventually they're going to run out of options.
Another issue is the rate at which branches are being closed. At first it was just some kids schools and small schools, but now more and more schools are closing, and it's more and more obvious that there is no planning going on. Last month some schools closed and the students were offered a transfer to another school. Then early this month they announced that school would close at the end of the month. So now the students have to transfer again, or more likely are going to quit. My school has yet to close, and word is the owner of the building is out of the country so doesn't know what's going on. We've been getting lots of transfer students, and hopefully we'll be getting some teachers from the schools that are closing, but there's no information so far. Apparently there's meant to be training for new teachers at my school today, but the head teacher hasn't got any information about the new guys, so it's pretty likely there not coming. I know I wouldn't come over now if I knew what was going on.
My reaction to all of this was at the beginning denial, but in the last month has gone to a fatalistic panic. After last months late pay, I initially thought they wouldn't be late twice, because they knew it would piss of the teachers, and with no teachers there's no business. But late the pay is, and now I'm looking for other work. I had an interview in Tokyo last week which was good and bad. Good in that they were willing to let me start training straight away, bad in that the training is unpaid, the pay is purely on a commission basis, and although the work is investment based, you have to get your own clients whose money you invest. This is not the sort of thing I can uproot and move to Tokyo for. I've also had a phone interview for teaching in China, but the pay is again good and bad. It's about what a manager in China receives, so you can live like a king over there, but it works out to about $1000 a month, so you can't really save any money. Tomorrow I have a phone interview for a job in South Korea, which is a lot better. I'd also much rather live in Korea than in China. No Great Firewall to start with, and the pay is a lot better (actually a bit better than what I get in Japan. It's about the same amount of money, but they also pay your rent and half your health insurance, plus pay for a return airfare, so that would be pretty good). We'll see how that goes.
This has also had a detrimental effect on my limited social life. The usual Monday night outing has been postponed indefinitely, pending getting some money. My diet is also suffering. For most of the last three weeks, dinner has been instant ramen. Breakfast is a pastry and some juice, or if I'm feeling luxurious, MacDonalds. The activities I've taken to fill the gap are online poker and watching the entirety of the original series of Star Trek.
End Post
Writing time: 41 minutes
Time since last post: 12 days
Current media: Newstopia
Saturday, August 25, 2007
A quotation from The Deeply Unfortunate Doings Of An Ill-fated Life
So as mentioned, here is the depressing introspective text that I wrote in a notebook. The harsh light of reality is not always pleasant. Anyway, here goes.
The Deeply Unfortunate Doings Of An Ill-fated Life is perhaps a little melancholic, but none the less has an echo of truth to it.
Life recently has not seemed to positive. The events themselves do not necessarily warrant such an extreme reaction, but they have acted as a catalyst of sorts, bringing back doubts and uncertainties I had not exorcised but had put to one side.
One of the big doubts I have is what I want to do with life. When I left high school I had a definite plan: get a degree, do honours, get a PhD, enter academia, do research, become a professor, etc, etc.
This plan has been abandoned, and as yet has not been replaced by a new plan. I have floated along in life since then, going where life takes me.
The other big doubt that eats at me is my inability to relate to, to interact with other people. Sometimes talking to people is a challenge. Sometimes in a conversation I will have nothing to say, and so I will just stay silent. In a group this means I mostly listen, while in a one on one situation means I cause an awkward silence. I know it would be proper to say something, but either I don't know what to say, have nothing to say, or don't know what I want to say, or whatever, I still go mute. Sometimes the other person fills in the gap, but often the silence prevails, and the longer it lasts, the harder it is to break. I know this is not the normal way of things.
On this aspect I have been improving, albeit very slowly, but I'm still sub-par at this. And because of this I feel like I'm missing out on parts of life. Most parts of life, actually. It took me 25 years before I had a romantic relationship. I've been in Japan 11 months and have no friends who are not connected to work. I keep in regular contact with only two friends from university, and irregular contact with a few others. In every group I'm a part of, I'm an outsider, an extra. Stuff happens with the group, and sometimes I'm included, sometimes I'm not. Sometimes I don't hear about an event until after it happens. Sometimes I'll know somethings going to happen, but not when or where or who else, and am afraid to ask if I can be a part of it for fear of a) looking presumptuous by barging in and b) out right rejection or otherwise being told no. My basis for this fear is the assumption that if my presence was wanted and/or desired I'd already be invited/informed.
At any rate, a few weeks ago an incident occurred of which I'm not proud, regret and which threw these issues into a harsh light. I'm not going to go into details of what happened, but at any rate it was not my finest hour.
the consequences of that night still endure. There is now a second member of the "EsonLinji has done terribly wrong by you" club. Since then I've been feeling more morose than ever. On a positive note I have a stronger desire to take action to change the way things are going.
Last Saturday I visited a counselor in Kyoto. This is not the first time I've visited a counselor, but it is the first time I went with a definite intention to continue. I went once before, around the time I quit my PhD.
This time was a bit different. Partly because I was going of my own volition, rather than to appease a scorned master.
Mostly while I was at the counselor I just talked. On some topics once I stop talking I can keep going and going. It seems to be the small everyday talking I'm not good at, which unfortunately is the much more common and useful type of talking.
I talked about a lot of different things. The recent past, my PhD, my family, my lack of purpose in life, lots of stuff.
It's weird that I'm more comfortable talking to a counselor about some of this stuff than friends (with I think maybe 3 exceptions). Perhaps because with most friends and acquaintances it's a very casual relationship and these are serious matters. Perhaps it's because most conversations don't last long enough to get to serious matters. Yet another sign of and problem caused by my lack of social skills.
I think some of what the counselor is useful but some I'm not so sure of. This may be my cynicism showing through, although lately I think I'm too cynical. I was not too receptive to the idea of contrasting the head and the heart (intellect vs emotion). To me they are one and the same. The heart as the source of emotion is a symbol, not a fact. As a fact, the heart is a pump, nothing more. Symbolism has its uses, but reality should not be ignored to support it.
I'm also not sure of the idea of having a cynical person inside of me holding me back. My point of view is that it's just me. Perhaps this is again symbolism. I'm much more open to the ideas of facets of myself vs the idea of several different people up in my head.
This railing against symbolism brings to mind one of my favorite works, "The Sandman". In "The Sandman" the main character is Dream, the embodiment of symbols and stories, and where reality is defined by them. Maybe I'm attracted to such stories because in this and most other media I enjoy there is usually a thread of something greater going on either behind the scenes or less often right up front. I think this reflects on my general lack of purpose or meaning in life, and my desire for such things.
I've lost the sense of how to continue writing from here, so I'm going to stop. More is likely to follow.
End Post
Writing time: 34 minutes typing, several hours writing over a few days
Time since last post: 2 days
Current media: Firefly - Disc 4
The Deeply Unfortunate Doings Of An Ill-fated Life is perhaps a little melancholic, but none the less has an echo of truth to it.
Life recently has not seemed to positive. The events themselves do not necessarily warrant such an extreme reaction, but they have acted as a catalyst of sorts, bringing back doubts and uncertainties I had not exorcised but had put to one side.
One of the big doubts I have is what I want to do with life. When I left high school I had a definite plan: get a degree, do honours, get a PhD, enter academia, do research, become a professor, etc, etc.
This plan has been abandoned, and as yet has not been replaced by a new plan. I have floated along in life since then, going where life takes me.
The other big doubt that eats at me is my inability to relate to, to interact with other people. Sometimes talking to people is a challenge. Sometimes in a conversation I will have nothing to say, and so I will just stay silent. In a group this means I mostly listen, while in a one on one situation means I cause an awkward silence. I know it would be proper to say something, but either I don't know what to say, have nothing to say, or don't know what I want to say, or whatever, I still go mute. Sometimes the other person fills in the gap, but often the silence prevails, and the longer it lasts, the harder it is to break. I know this is not the normal way of things.
On this aspect I have been improving, albeit very slowly, but I'm still sub-par at this. And because of this I feel like I'm missing out on parts of life. Most parts of life, actually. It took me 25 years before I had a romantic relationship. I've been in Japan 11 months and have no friends who are not connected to work. I keep in regular contact with only two friends from university, and irregular contact with a few others. In every group I'm a part of, I'm an outsider, an extra. Stuff happens with the group, and sometimes I'm included, sometimes I'm not. Sometimes I don't hear about an event until after it happens. Sometimes I'll know somethings going to happen, but not when or where or who else, and am afraid to ask if I can be a part of it for fear of a) looking presumptuous by barging in and b) out right rejection or otherwise being told no. My basis for this fear is the assumption that if my presence was wanted and/or desired I'd already be invited/informed.
At any rate, a few weeks ago an incident occurred of which I'm not proud, regret and which threw these issues into a harsh light. I'm not going to go into details of what happened, but at any rate it was not my finest hour.
the consequences of that night still endure. There is now a second member of the "EsonLinji has done terribly wrong by you" club. Since then I've been feeling more morose than ever. On a positive note I have a stronger desire to take action to change the way things are going.
Last Saturday I visited a counselor in Kyoto. This is not the first time I've visited a counselor, but it is the first time I went with a definite intention to continue. I went once before, around the time I quit my PhD.
This time was a bit different. Partly because I was going of my own volition, rather than to appease a scorned master.
Mostly while I was at the counselor I just talked. On some topics once I stop talking I can keep going and going. It seems to be the small everyday talking I'm not good at, which unfortunately is the much more common and useful type of talking.
I talked about a lot of different things. The recent past, my PhD, my family, my lack of purpose in life, lots of stuff.
It's weird that I'm more comfortable talking to a counselor about some of this stuff than friends (with I think maybe 3 exceptions). Perhaps because with most friends and acquaintances it's a very casual relationship and these are serious matters. Perhaps it's because most conversations don't last long enough to get to serious matters. Yet another sign of and problem caused by my lack of social skills.
I think some of what the counselor is useful but some I'm not so sure of. This may be my cynicism showing through, although lately I think I'm too cynical. I was not too receptive to the idea of contrasting the head and the heart (intellect vs emotion). To me they are one and the same. The heart as the source of emotion is a symbol, not a fact. As a fact, the heart is a pump, nothing more. Symbolism has its uses, but reality should not be ignored to support it.
I'm also not sure of the idea of having a cynical person inside of me holding me back. My point of view is that it's just me. Perhaps this is again symbolism. I'm much more open to the ideas of facets of myself vs the idea of several different people up in my head.
This railing against symbolism brings to mind one of my favorite works, "The Sandman". In "The Sandman" the main character is Dream, the embodiment of symbols and stories, and where reality is defined by them. Maybe I'm attracted to such stories because in this and most other media I enjoy there is usually a thread of something greater going on either behind the scenes or less often right up front. I think this reflects on my general lack of purpose or meaning in life, and my desire for such things.
I've lost the sense of how to continue writing from here, so I'm going to stop. More is likely to follow.
End Post
Writing time: 34 minutes typing, several hours writing over a few days
Time since last post: 2 days
Current media: Firefly - Disc 4
Sunday, May 20, 2007
Dubious Morality
A few days ago I righted a wrong that has been standing for a while. Just before I left Australia, I ordered a t-shirt from a website, and when it arrived at my uncles place, there were actually two t-shirts. Since it was a website I liked, I didn't want to rip them off, but at the same time, I had a huge credit card debt and was settling into Japan and living off less than my full wage, and then I was saving up for a computer, and so on. So anyway, since a few days ago was payday, and I'm now hassle free finance wise (other than working out how to send some money back to Oz to finish off paying the credit card off) I contacted the website to let them know of the mistake and rectify it. So, in short order the debt was paid, and life goes on.
I think I'm writing because I expected to feel a bit better about finally resolving the situation. Perhaps I've watched a little to much of My Name is Earl, but the main feeling I've gotten from this is the sense I should have done it sooner. It's not like US$24 is that huge an amount. The most correct thing to do would be to have notified them as soon as possible and pay the money then. However, I put things like buying a computer and eating food fancier than instant noodles ahead of that. I guess the thing I'm concerned about is where does this put me on the morality scales. Is my soul lighter than a feather, or is it tarnished by this and other misplaced priorities?
Maybe people will comment and I'll be able to get a bit of holier than thou righteousness on, or maybe I'll be shown as the scumbag I am.
End Post
Writing time: 15 minutes
Time since last post: 8 days
Current media: None
I think I'm writing because I expected to feel a bit better about finally resolving the situation. Perhaps I've watched a little to much of My Name is Earl, but the main feeling I've gotten from this is the sense I should have done it sooner. It's not like US$24 is that huge an amount. The most correct thing to do would be to have notified them as soon as possible and pay the money then. However, I put things like buying a computer and eating food fancier than instant noodles ahead of that. I guess the thing I'm concerned about is where does this put me on the morality scales. Is my soul lighter than a feather, or is it tarnished by this and other misplaced priorities?
Maybe people will comment and I'll be able to get a bit of holier than thou righteousness on, or maybe I'll be shown as the scumbag I am.
End Post
Writing time: 15 minutes
Time since last post: 8 days
Current media: None
Sunday, February 25, 2007
Sunday Night Musings
A quiet week this week. I spent perhaps a little more time getting to know my computer than I should have, and playing Mario Kart on my DS. Next week I shall try and limit the amount of time I spend sitting in front of the computer. That doesn't mean it won't be on, just I won't be actively using it. I just need to make sure I don't find more things with it to play with. For instance, tonight I found out that the mac comes with Apache and PHP preinstalled, and so of course had to get that up and working and play with it a bit.
Work is getting to be pretty much routine. I've done most of the ordinary lessons enough now that I don't really need to do much preparation any more. Kids lessons are also no longer a major hassle, just some of the kids. For some classes I wish I had one of those adjustable gates parents use to block doorways because there is one kid who is a bit precocious and whenever something doesn't go her way she runs out of the room. The gate would be handy in preventing that.
Over the last week or two I've had some training for some of the specialised classes that Nova teaches, which have basically been 40 minute briefings on what the aims of the course are and what the lesson management plans (LMPs for those who use the things) look like. Then your on your own. I've yet to actually teach one of these classes, but we'll see how things go when I do.
I'm currently reading a book of short stories by Neil Gaiman. Most of them are pretty good. They're a bit different and are usually humorous. I particularly like the one where going out and giving presents each year is part of an eternal punishment for Santa Claus and the elves are his jailers. It's impressive what you can do with just 100 words.
I got a new game for my DS when I bought my computer. Mario Kart DS. It's pretty good, lots of fun, and so far there's always something new to try. In addition to all the different single player games, you can play online using a wireless internet connection. A pretty good challenge. I played a little bit last night and the result after 4 races was a three way tie.
Anyway, I should stop typing now as it is getting late and I haven't been sleeping much this week (too much messing around on the computer coupled with my housemates alarm clock going off early for my liking).
End Post
Writing time: 30 minute (including various distractions)
Time since last post: 4 days
Current media: silence
Work is getting to be pretty much routine. I've done most of the ordinary lessons enough now that I don't really need to do much preparation any more. Kids lessons are also no longer a major hassle, just some of the kids. For some classes I wish I had one of those adjustable gates parents use to block doorways because there is one kid who is a bit precocious and whenever something doesn't go her way she runs out of the room. The gate would be handy in preventing that.
Over the last week or two I've had some training for some of the specialised classes that Nova teaches, which have basically been 40 minute briefings on what the aims of the course are and what the lesson management plans (LMPs for those who use the things) look like. Then your on your own. I've yet to actually teach one of these classes, but we'll see how things go when I do.
I'm currently reading a book of short stories by Neil Gaiman. Most of them are pretty good. They're a bit different and are usually humorous. I particularly like the one where going out and giving presents each year is part of an eternal punishment for Santa Claus and the elves are his jailers. It's impressive what you can do with just 100 words.
I got a new game for my DS when I bought my computer. Mario Kart DS. It's pretty good, lots of fun, and so far there's always something new to try. In addition to all the different single player games, you can play online using a wireless internet connection. A pretty good challenge. I played a little bit last night and the result after 4 races was a three way tie.
Anyway, I should stop typing now as it is getting late and I haven't been sleeping much this week (too much messing around on the computer coupled with my housemates alarm clock going off early for my liking).
End Post
Writing time: 30 minute (including various distractions)
Time since last post: 4 days
Current media: silence
Saturday, July 29, 2006
Rich Girl Not So Rich
I first heard Gwen Stefani's cover of If I were A Rich Man titled If I Were A Rich Girl while I was visiting my sister in Thailand last year while browsing in a music store. I didn't listen too much, but given that I'm somewhat of a fan of covers and parodies of songs, I was mildly interested.
It was a little while later that I found out who the artist was, and listened a bit more to the lyrics. When I did this, I realized just how much she and her collaborators had missed the point of the song.
In Fiddler on the Roof, the song starts out saying how if Tevye (one of the main characters from the musical) was rich, he wouldn't have to work, would have a big house, lots of animals, materialistic things. But then it turns to other things. Freeing his wife from the burden of having to do all the housework. Gaining respect from his neighbours, and them asking him for advice. And then finally he would be able to spend time to study the Torah, and spend more time praying. The song starts out materialistic, but comes round and shows that the main thing that Tevye would gain from it is being able to not worry about the mundane things like having food to eat and a roof to sleep under but concern himself with the more important (well, less materialistic, more spiritual) things in life.
In comparison, Gwen Stefani's version is about all the glittering things money can buy, and people wanting to know you just because you're rich. It does not look at other aspects of what having money can do for you. It's shallow, and misses the point of the original.
I could say that this is a symptom of the moral and cultural decline of modern society, but such claims have been made since the days of Socrates. And anyway, reality TV fills that role. I think my main point is that Gwen Stefani and co are shallow and missed the point of the song the were redoing. And the point of the original is a point worth making.
End Post
Writing time: 31 minutes
Time since last post: 2 days
Current media: Firefly
It was a little while later that I found out who the artist was, and listened a bit more to the lyrics. When I did this, I realized just how much she and her collaborators had missed the point of the song.
In Fiddler on the Roof, the song starts out saying how if Tevye (one of the main characters from the musical) was rich, he wouldn't have to work, would have a big house, lots of animals, materialistic things. But then it turns to other things. Freeing his wife from the burden of having to do all the housework. Gaining respect from his neighbours, and them asking him for advice. And then finally he would be able to spend time to study the Torah, and spend more time praying. The song starts out materialistic, but comes round and shows that the main thing that Tevye would gain from it is being able to not worry about the mundane things like having food to eat and a roof to sleep under but concern himself with the more important (well, less materialistic, more spiritual) things in life.
In comparison, Gwen Stefani's version is about all the glittering things money can buy, and people wanting to know you just because you're rich. It does not look at other aspects of what having money can do for you. It's shallow, and misses the point of the original.
I could say that this is a symptom of the moral and cultural decline of modern society, but such claims have been made since the days of Socrates. And anyway, reality TV fills that role. I think my main point is that Gwen Stefani and co are shallow and missed the point of the song the were redoing. And the point of the original is a point worth making.
End Post
Writing time: 31 minutes
Time since last post: 2 days
Current media: Firefly
Thursday, July 27, 2006
Blue Sun
When I got my first chunk of cash from the work I did on Rent A Coder, one thing I did was to splurge on a t-shirt. And not just any T-short. I got me a Blue Sun t-shirt.
Now, I think most people who might read this will be wondering just what the hell is so special about a Blue Sun shirt. I will say that Blue Sun has a wikipedia entry, and those interested can look it up.
At the moment I'm still considering something big, and while having mostly made up my mind, am still a bit wary. More on that when I am more certain about the matter.
I bought a book on to read on the flight back from Townsville on Wednesday, The Great Philosophers. It's a series of articles on some of the big names in philosophy and what they were about. So far I've got through Socrates and most of the way through Plato, and next up is Descartes. Also in the list is Turing, which should be interesting. Look forward to a few more philosophical posts in the near future.
End Post
Writing time: 22 minutes
Time since last post: 13 days
Current media: iTunes Shuffle
Technorati tags: Blue Sun, stuff, rambling
Now, I think most people who might read this will be wondering just what the hell is so special about a Blue Sun shirt. I will say that Blue Sun has a wikipedia entry, and those interested can look it up.
At the moment I'm still considering something big, and while having mostly made up my mind, am still a bit wary. More on that when I am more certain about the matter.
I bought a book on to read on the flight back from Townsville on Wednesday, The Great Philosophers. It's a series of articles on some of the big names in philosophy and what they were about. So far I've got through Socrates and most of the way through Plato, and next up is Descartes. Also in the list is Turing, which should be interesting. Look forward to a few more philosophical posts in the near future.
End Post
Writing time: 22 minutes
Time since last post: 13 days
Current media: iTunes Shuffle
Technorati tags: Blue Sun, stuff, rambling
Tuesday, June 13, 2006
A Smaller God
Story telling has always included gods. And for their parts, gods have always had stories. The Greek, Norse and Celtic all have their stories. The Judeo-Christian god has the Torah, the Bible and the Koran telling his story.
And since gods are such well known and impressive characters, writers have included them in their own stories. Douglas Adams' "The Long Dark Teatime of the Soul" deals with what life is like for the Norse gods in the modern day. Other novels look at similar themes with other gods. Robert Rankin's "Waiting for Goldaming" is about someone investigating the death of God.
One writer who has freely incorporated gods into his stories is Neil Gaiman. "American Gods" is all about gods. In The Sandman, a number of gods from various pantheons are encountered. And this brings me to the actual purpose of this writing. In The Sandman, one particular mythos is singled out as being different. In the Brief Lives arc, Gaiman describes the life cycle of gods. They are born in the dreams of men, move into the waking world, as belief wanes they return to dreams and eventually move onto realms about which the only thing known is that there is no return. It is possible to avoid this fate by ensuring that belief, no matter how little endures. Pharamond achieves this by becoming the embodiment of transportation, something that will never go away. Ishtar, a Babylonian love goddess ekes out a meager existence working at a strip club. The Japanese gods incorporate everything from Marilyn Monroe to astronauts into their pantheon so that there's always something in there being worshipped by people.
The main point though is that people came first and that they formed their gods in their image. Only one mythos is excepted from this rule. And not surprisingly it's the Judeo-Christian mythos. First, it is stated that his home realm, called the Silver City, is explicitly separate from the rest of the universe. This is not just the material universe, but non-material parts as well, such the Dreaming and Hell. This separates it from every other realm in the Sandman universe, such as the realms of Fairie, Asgard, Destiny's Garden and others. The Sandman, during The Wake arc, states that there is a power above the Endless, although does not explicitly name that power or link it to the God of the Silver City.
Second, the Silver City, God and the angels all existed before the rest of creation. The short story Murder Mystery (not a Sandman story, but set in the same universe) is set in this before time, when the angels are helping God in designing his universe, although given how events play out, it is clear that this is just another stage in God's design, and needs to be gone through to ensure that the creation works out right, by making Lucifer into who he is destined to be.
The spin off series Lucifer, while not being written by Gaiman, continues this them of God being the overall creator of everything, and other gods being part of that creation. When God leaves, everything falls apart, including the realms of other gods.
So God is treated differently to other gods. This is not surprising given that he is the divinity of the western worlds dominant religions, while other gods are not held with such reverence by modern readers. Part of it is surely not wanting to antagonise the reader. Few gods in the Sandman are shown as unflawed beings. The gods lie, manipulate, bribe, scheme and more, while God sits above it all, watching his creation.
That was pretty much my point. God gets treated differently to all the other gods. Not the most significant of thoughts, but it is interesting to note that a difference is present, and it is a major difference in the nature of and significance of the being known as God.
End Post
Writing time: 6 hours, 10 minutes (I did leave the house for a few hours to play some chess, take about 4 hours off of that at least in reality)
Time since last post: 5 days
Current media: iTunes party shuffle
And since gods are such well known and impressive characters, writers have included them in their own stories. Douglas Adams' "The Long Dark Teatime of the Soul" deals with what life is like for the Norse gods in the modern day. Other novels look at similar themes with other gods. Robert Rankin's "Waiting for Goldaming" is about someone investigating the death of God.
One writer who has freely incorporated gods into his stories is Neil Gaiman. "American Gods" is all about gods. In The Sandman, a number of gods from various pantheons are encountered. And this brings me to the actual purpose of this writing. In The Sandman, one particular mythos is singled out as being different. In the Brief Lives arc, Gaiman describes the life cycle of gods. They are born in the dreams of men, move into the waking world, as belief wanes they return to dreams and eventually move onto realms about which the only thing known is that there is no return. It is possible to avoid this fate by ensuring that belief, no matter how little endures. Pharamond achieves this by becoming the embodiment of transportation, something that will never go away. Ishtar, a Babylonian love goddess ekes out a meager existence working at a strip club. The Japanese gods incorporate everything from Marilyn Monroe to astronauts into their pantheon so that there's always something in there being worshipped by people.
The main point though is that people came first and that they formed their gods in their image. Only one mythos is excepted from this rule. And not surprisingly it's the Judeo-Christian mythos. First, it is stated that his home realm, called the Silver City, is explicitly separate from the rest of the universe. This is not just the material universe, but non-material parts as well, such the Dreaming and Hell. This separates it from every other realm in the Sandman universe, such as the realms of Fairie, Asgard, Destiny's Garden and others. The Sandman, during The Wake arc, states that there is a power above the Endless, although does not explicitly name that power or link it to the God of the Silver City.
Second, the Silver City, God and the angels all existed before the rest of creation. The short story Murder Mystery (not a Sandman story, but set in the same universe) is set in this before time, when the angels are helping God in designing his universe, although given how events play out, it is clear that this is just another stage in God's design, and needs to be gone through to ensure that the creation works out right, by making Lucifer into who he is destined to be.
The spin off series Lucifer, while not being written by Gaiman, continues this them of God being the overall creator of everything, and other gods being part of that creation. When God leaves, everything falls apart, including the realms of other gods.
So God is treated differently to other gods. This is not surprising given that he is the divinity of the western worlds dominant religions, while other gods are not held with such reverence by modern readers. Part of it is surely not wanting to antagonise the reader. Few gods in the Sandman are shown as unflawed beings. The gods lie, manipulate, bribe, scheme and more, while God sits above it all, watching his creation.
That was pretty much my point. God gets treated differently to all the other gods. Not the most significant of thoughts, but it is interesting to note that a difference is present, and it is a major difference in the nature of and significance of the being known as God.
End Post
Writing time: 6 hours, 10 minutes (I did leave the house for a few hours to play some chess, take about 4 hours off of that at least in reality)
Time since last post: 5 days
Current media: iTunes party shuffle
Thursday, May 25, 2006
Flawed Avatars
The idea of an avatar is an old one, coming from Hindu mythology, being a physical manifestation of a god. Since those days science fiction has used the concept with varying degrees of success and consistency. In science fiction, avatars are a human sized embodiment of significantly larger constructs that are self aware, such as ships or habitats. Rommie from Andromeda is probably the most well known, being one of the few who've made it to TV. In books, the Ships and Habitats of Iain M Banks' The Culture have numerous avatars.
Unfortunately, most of the time when avatars are used in science fiction, they tend not to act as they would given their stated capabilities. In Andromeda, the ship Andromeda Ascendant is a self aware entity. But it is a mixed up being. First there are four manifestations of the Andromeda. First is the ship itself. Andromeda's AI is able to control nearly every system on itself. Second is a visual display, that mainly just gives information. Third is a holographic projection that has a role similar to that of the visual display, but is more interactive and displays more of a personality. Finally is Rommie, an android who shows the most personality.
Nominally, all of these have the same ability to control ships systems, access data and sensors. However, in practice, the different manifestations not only have different levels of control, but indeed have distinct personalities. The android can be considered an exception as it is somewhat autonomous, both physically as well as computationally, as it has operated well beyond any ability to be controlled by the ship itself. But even while on board, differences in access and personality exist. This is a rather odd way of doing things, when the main task of these avatars is to communicate with the crew on board. Having more than one persona with varying degrees of overlap between the different versions would just complicate matters.
I think that the avatar is a good idea, and can be used to good effect. Iain M Banks has shown this, most effectively in Look to Windward, and not so well in Excession. The biggest difference in the presentation of these avatars is that Banks does not treat his avatars as independent entities. This is probably the root of most poor representations of avatars, that they are considered separate things to what they are a representative for. Banks' avatars are quite upfront about being the appendage of something greater.
So in conclusion, avatars good, just be clear about what they are and how they act.
End Post
Writing time:
Time since last post: 1 hour 7 minutes
Current media: The Daily Show
Unfortunately, most of the time when avatars are used in science fiction, they tend not to act as they would given their stated capabilities. In Andromeda, the ship Andromeda Ascendant is a self aware entity. But it is a mixed up being. First there are four manifestations of the Andromeda. First is the ship itself. Andromeda's AI is able to control nearly every system on itself. Second is a visual display, that mainly just gives information. Third is a holographic projection that has a role similar to that of the visual display, but is more interactive and displays more of a personality. Finally is Rommie, an android who shows the most personality.
Nominally, all of these have the same ability to control ships systems, access data and sensors. However, in practice, the different manifestations not only have different levels of control, but indeed have distinct personalities. The android can be considered an exception as it is somewhat autonomous, both physically as well as computationally, as it has operated well beyond any ability to be controlled by the ship itself. But even while on board, differences in access and personality exist. This is a rather odd way of doing things, when the main task of these avatars is to communicate with the crew on board. Having more than one persona with varying degrees of overlap between the different versions would just complicate matters.
I think that the avatar is a good idea, and can be used to good effect. Iain M Banks has shown this, most effectively in Look to Windward, and not so well in Excession. The biggest difference in the presentation of these avatars is that Banks does not treat his avatars as independent entities. This is probably the root of most poor representations of avatars, that they are considered separate things to what they are a representative for. Banks' avatars are quite upfront about being the appendage of something greater.
So in conclusion, avatars good, just be clear about what they are and how they act.
End Post
Writing time:
Time since last post: 1 hour 7 minutes
Current media: The Daily Show
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