Those Wacky Christians

As has recently been brought to my attention, it seems that Easter is this weekend.¹ And hot off the presses is a safety note from Phillipine health officials. Apparently, if you plan to take part in the ritual re-enaction of the crucifixion then you should get a tetanus shot beforehand and sterilise the nails.

Well, of course you should. Because after hours of pain and agony hanging from some pieces of wood which you are attached to by nails, tetanus is a little too much too bear. What next, a clean spear?

And for those who are only into a little flagellation instead of the full crucifixion, then make sure your whip is clean. You don't want to get an infection.

I am also amazed that people are actually willing to do this. The only way I'd end up attached to a cross with nails through my hands and feet is if a rather large unhappy mob put me there.² You'd have to be a serious nut job to consider doing this. Surely if Jesus³ were to look down at these people preparing for this he'd say to them "Look, you really don't want to do that. It's not good for you. Trust me, I know what I'm talking about."

Can any one give me an example of an atheist doing this sort of messed up shit. I'm willing to accept as a counter that sometimes atheists kill other people, but I don't know of any atheists willingly torturing themselves in such a way.⁴

1 Assuming, of course, that you follow the western tradition. Orthodox Christians have to wait another month.
2 Please don't take this as an invitation to do this.
3 Hypothetically speaking of course.
4 We usually make our self-inflicted torture mental⁵
5 sed s/We/I/ 4 > sed s/our/my/ > 4⁶
6 I think this footnote is superfluous and the footnote it is a footnote to is intentionally obtuse and the footnote that the footnote this is a footnote to is a footnote to is really just an excuse to get in some emotional wallowing into an otherwise easy anti-religious tract and it was also a footnote to the main text so I can do no more convoluted footnote to footnote type phrases⁷ that may or may not be difficult to parse.
7 Or can I?⁸
8 I won't since this is now getting old and the footnotes are approaching the size of the main text.

End Post
Writing time: 27 minutes (damn footnotes)
Time since last post: 5 days
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