The deeply unfortunate doings of an ill-fated life

Funerals suck. Everyone who is already sad, upset, or otherwise unhappy about the discontinued existence of the person being commemorated gather together and remind each other that a tragedy has happened and that it a terrible thing to have happened, and it all feeds on itself making everyone more upset.

It was the second time after Mal's death I'd cried. There was a bit just after finding out, but after that I'd managed to be able to keep it together. But the actual event itself got to me. It started just going through the memorial garden where they've got parts of lots of other cremated people buried. I don't like graveyards. It's too much concentrated death, which in this type of situation just brings you back to why your there.

I was one of the pall bearers (I think I spelt pall right), along with one of Mal's sons, his two brothers, his brother in law (sisters husband) and an old (long time) friend of his. I was actually surprised at the size of the coffin. It was a lot narrower and shallower than I would have thought he'd have fit in. I wasn't able to get their in time for the viewing the day before the funeral, so I don't know if death made a hug difference in size, or I just am bad at estimating that sort of thing.

I'm considering making an offer to buy his motorbike off Mum, but before I do so I need to work out if I can afford it, not just the buying but the running of it. Also, a friend of his had first option on it if Mal didn't want it anymore, so that will probably have to be considered as well. And of course I need to get a motorcycle license, which will add to the cost (there exist 3 day courses for people with regular car licenses to get a motorcycle license if they can learn quick enough that cost ~$500). If I do, I might take a week of, visit Mum for a few days and then ride back to Brisbane.

A friend gave me a journal type book the other day. The title of this post is taken from the cover. Just looking at it, I've noticed that it's got a copyright notice on it. I guess they're really protective of their cover design, because I don't really think they can get away with copyrighting a bunch of blank pages with lines on them. I'm not quite sure what I'm going to put in there yet, but it will be something more profound than shopping lists and the like.

Have I mentioned that tax sucks. Not so much in and of itself, but in how it applies to work and motivation. At the moment, in a usual week I pay a certain amount of tax. If I do some overtime, or the rosters work out that a given pay week has more than the usual number of hours in it, I go over a certain point and get taxed at a higher rate. It's not as motivating when thinking about doing more when you realize that although you're being paid a certain amount per hour, for the extra hours you only see about half of that. I know it all balances out in the end, but still it frustrates at times.

End Post
writing time: 25 minutes